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About Me

     I was born in a village, south of the Himalayas� Annapurna range, in the midhills of Nepal. My first contact with the outside world came during occasional visits to a bazaar, several miles east. What fascinated me most, during those visits, was the train of mules, studded with colored yak tails and chiming bells, as they hauled loads through the stone streets. Strange people in shorts and backpacks, called Amrikane, followed them, as they disappeared northward from a gap between two houses near a pipal tree.

     The gap fascinated me; I could imagine a mysterious place beyond it. As I returned in the afternoon, walking along a gurgling river in a valley and then climbing up a hill one and a half hours to my village, that sense of mystery remained intact. Time, during those afternoons, remained still except when awakened by an occasional plop of a frog leaping into the paddy fields. The image still carries a lot of meaning to me, because it serves to highlight the tension that has always remained with me: between the bliss I associate with fantasy and an untiring drive for knowledge that erodes the mysterious.

     Growing up to become a journalist and lecturing at the Tribhuvan University have led me to places beyond such gaps to see the reality: villages now torn by Maoist people�s war, poverty, corruption, and in many instances the will of the people to make the best out of the situation they have been put into. Journalism, especially investigative reporting, offered me direct contact with politics, foreign affairs, development, culture and globalization, especially after short fellowships in Japan and later in Sweden. I have come to realize how identities even in a remote Nepali village are affected by the process of globalization and how the North-South discourse affects people on both sides.

     There is also another aspect to my academic interest�an overwhelming concern with the strategies that cultures and individuals use, consciously or unconsciously, to create some sort of meaning out of their existence. I have been fascinated with this since my college days, when I would try to compare modern neuroscientific discovery with yoga philosophy, and later, read Vedic philosophy in relation to modern literary theories. It is this desire to learn about the forces at work within a culture or individual that led me to Drew University, where I am doing an MA in European and American cultural and intellectual history. My intention is to understand how different cultures and individuals at different times come to terms with some sense of a higher reality and how they create meaning out of an ironical situation they have been put into. I have come to realize how this search for meaning depends on (mis)construction of self-identity based on a historical sense of self-consciousness. This involves an inherent tension with the impulse to create knowledge, which strips off foundations that were once adequate to provide a sense of meaning. Cultures, thus, have to continually seek new forms of experience to provide that sense of purpose to life.

     I have come to believe that culture�s primary function is to provide meaningful experience and individuals creatively negotiate with their medium, sometimes unconsciously, to gain "jouissance" or enjoyment. This enjoyment is largely achieved through fantasy which is an act of imaginary identification with an object or thing. I explored a similar issue last year when I presented a paper at the Literary Association Nepal seminar in Kathmandu. In the paper I analyzed the recent emergence of new forms of political and group identities, notably radical ethnic and Maoist "People�s War" that has led to the deaths of more than a thousand people in the last five years and destabilized governance in some parts of the country. In the paper, I argued that the Maoist "People�s Movement" constructed self identity through fantasy and resistance. My analysis was based on revolutionary literature and speeches and I discovered that the construction of fantasy involves imaginary identification with an utopia that remains abstract unless constructed through metaphors. Secondly, self-definition was achieved by describing one against what one is not, in this case the state. What struck me most was that although Maoist groups had existed earlier, they found concrete events and images to describe themselves only after the state attempted to repress them. The signs of repression left by the state (after the beginning of the People�s War in 1995) thus turned out to be signifiers on the basis of which the political group achieved new and vibrant self-identity.

     I want to achieve a broader understanding of cultural issues. I aspire to explore the strategies of desire as they operate at the point of contact between the "global" forces and local identities. Specifically, I want to explore, through cultural and critical theory (mainly psychoanalytical and Marxist theories), and a certain amount of ethnographic studies, how desire is played out at the point of contact between the North and South, and how this interplay shapes their identity as well as their experience within the culture they belong to.

     At the point of contact, whether in imagination or in reality, the people of two cultures confront an other, which is sometimes fantasized and sometimes resisted. One force, more powerful, sometimes proposes interventions (which are a form of fantasy) out of both self-interest and philanthropy, unaware of its inner desires. The other force, meanwhile, is torn between resistance and fantasizing. It attempts to resist outside forces that effect sweeping changes, and create fluid, temporary foundations on which it must stand; and fantasizes, creating an imaginary relation with the object of its fascination. Culture, born at this point of contact, thus becomes a playground of resistance and fantasy as the two cultures try to create meaning within the maelstrom of ever increasing encounters with an other. Language of resistance and fantasy finds its outlets in creative acts of imagination, political organizations and other cultural signs.

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Experience

2000-2001 Student.
Drew University. Madison, NJ.

�Enrolled in MA degree in Modern History and Literature program with emphasis on European and American Intellectual and Cultural History.

1995- present. Lecturer.
Tribhuvan University. Kathmandu, Nepal.

�Teaching English literature and media studies to graduate students.
�Part of a team involved in designing new curriculum for MA degree in English. Special contribution in Media studies program, one of the courses within the MA in English program.

1998-Aug 2000. Secretary.
Nepal Forum of Environmental Journalists. Kathmandu.

�Designed and coordinated the information strategy and communication campaign for a component of Energy Sector Assistance Program of Danida in Nepal from November 1999-April 2000.
�Involved in policy and executive decision making process of Nepal Forum of Environmental Journalists (NEFEJ), one of the most respected media/environment NGOs in Nepal. Major contribution in policy studies and recommendations for Radio Sagarmatha (the first public radio) operated by NEFEJ.
�Coauthored a book in Nepali on writing for radio.

1998-1999. Editor.
Patrika Weekly. Kathmandu.

�Designed and edited the newspaper in Nepali. Formulated the business and editorial plan.
�Managed editorial operations of the weekly known for innovation in design and content.

1995-1998. Managing Editor
Independent. Kathmandu.

�Revised editorial content and design of a weekly English newspaper.

1995-1997. Assistant Editor.
Everest Herald. Kathmandu.

�Key role in designing and managing a English language daily broadsheet published from Kathmandu, paised for editorial writing and reporting.

1992-95. Senior Reporter/Senior Sub-editor.
The Kathmandu Post. Kathmandu.
�Worked alternately as coordinator of the reporting section and the news department of the largest English daily. Known for innovation in design and writing.
�Covered major events in politics, foreign relations, and development. Traveled widely throughout the country.

1990-92. News Editor.
Nepal Television. Kathmandu.
�Responsibilities included translation, preparation of news script, and production of evening
English news-bulletin for the only national network.

Other Experiences

�Articles, travelogues, essays and stories in both English and Nepali language in different newspapers.
�Articles in Himal South Asia, including a cover story on the situtation of media in Nepal and some commentaries on current issues.
�Short term journalism fellowships in Japan (FPC, 1995) and Sweden (FOJO) 1999.
�Training of Development of Curriculum on Journalism, by Catherine Mitchell (NPI/USIS). A-V production and experimental documentary, AAVAS, WIF, NEFEJ.
�Association in many seminars and workshops related to media, development, literature, society and politics.

Education

1995 Tribhuvan University. Kathmandu.
MA in English Literature and Criticism.

1990. RRL Campus, TU
BA in English and Economics.

1987. Cambrian Hall, Dehradun, India.
ISC in Science.